Day 71

I lost my job today.

Happy was by my side and being very sweet all day. When I cried he just got closer. He's never really been like that but today he knew I needed him.
Recently Emmanuel decided to pay me less, when I wrote him a letter letting him know that I didn't agree with that decision given all the work that I do for him, he was apparently insulted and decided my services were no longer needed. So I showed up for work this morning and he opened the door, asked for my keys, and that was it. I panicked for awhile, I was really sad, really angry, sad some more. I didn't get to say goodbye to the boys and I don't know who will take care of them now. But I'm not going to fight him about this, it's not worth it and I'm moving on.
I came home and I applied for any job I could find. One of the jobs I applied for was with Heritage Christian Services. They even called and did a phone interview with me this afternoon and I'll be going in tomorrow for an interview in person. So my panic level had dropped since then. I'm still not out of the woods but I'm not hopeless either. I think tomorrow will work out. In some ways I feel that it's a step back, going back to direct care, but I have to move on and support myself.
I really don't want to continue to hear how awful anyone thinks Emmanuel is. I know that I wasn't treated fairly and it ended badly, but I want to move on. I want to close this chapter in my life and start a new one. Today was a very hard day and I can't keep going through it. And as long as it works out tomorrow I can move on and not let this drastically affect me.

Day 70

Sunday we celebrated the life of Zane Morris.

This picture obviously wasn't just taken, but the day was all about him.
Zane was a wonderful man I met in Penfield and he always had a smile on his face. I didn't actually know him that well, but in a way I felt like I did. My mom was really close to him and he was always so wonderful to me when I saw him. Zane was diagnosed with ALS about 2 years ago, and while we knew what the outcome was it was really just very sad. But we celebrated his life. The service, while tears were shed and some of it was sad, was really a celebration of who Zane had been and his wonderful family that was still there. I think he'll be one of those people from the various churches that I'll never forget.

Day 69

On Saturday I did A LOT of laundry.

My apartment had gotten pretty out of control and first Dad was coming to visit then Mom was going to stay the night so I really needed to get it under control. I did 7 loads of laundry. Now, that's only 2 loads of clothes. I washed all my sheets, blankets, and towels. The washers and dryers aren't very big here so I had to spread it out over several loads. But I got it done and had a wonderful time visiting with Mom and Dad.

Day 68

I got the boys some new toys recently and Brycen loves them!

The boys don't have any toys of their own so I decided to get them a few things to play with while I'm with them. Kitchen stuff is Brycen's favorite to play with at school so I thought plastic food would be a great thing for him at home. I also got them some duplo blocks but they haven't arrived yet. Such a better start to the day than yesterday! Plus it's Friday, and even though I have to work until 9 tonight I'm hoping to make it a good day!

Day 67

This is how Thursday started...

Braxton was upset and pouting on the floor Brycen was just laying on the floor because that's what he does. I felt like doing just about the same thing, but instead I dropped the boys off at school and then went and laid in my bed for about an hour. Emmanuel made me really angry so I was really glad I was only working til noon.

Day 66

How did this happen?

I woke up this morning, looked out the window and no snow. I got up and put some clothes on and by the time I got out the door 10 minutes later there was a layer of snow on my car. It has gotten increasingly worse as the day goes on. It's not so bad but it's snow! I don't like snow! I thought we could be done with it now since it's now officially Spring. Ugh, and it's supposed to be like this the rest of the week! I have a mountain of laundry to do and doing it requires going outside and snow makes this job less enjoyable than it already was.

Day 65

My sleeping beauty...

Brycen took a nice long nap today :) It was a good day because he didn't fall asleep on the way home from school so we could get in lunch before nap time and he always sleeps better when he eats first. I actually had to wake him up to go pick Braxton up from school, and those days are few and far between lately. Brycen really is my little buddy. He just keeps getting sweeter and sweeter. Braxton on the other hand, is becoming more defiant and is taking a liking to saying NO!