Day 71

I lost my job today.

Happy was by my side and being very sweet all day. When I cried he just got closer. He's never really been like that but today he knew I needed him.
Recently Emmanuel decided to pay me less, when I wrote him a letter letting him know that I didn't agree with that decision given all the work that I do for him, he was apparently insulted and decided my services were no longer needed. So I showed up for work this morning and he opened the door, asked for my keys, and that was it. I panicked for awhile, I was really sad, really angry, sad some more. I didn't get to say goodbye to the boys and I don't know who will take care of them now. But I'm not going to fight him about this, it's not worth it and I'm moving on.
I came home and I applied for any job I could find. One of the jobs I applied for was with Heritage Christian Services. They even called and did a phone interview with me this afternoon and I'll be going in tomorrow for an interview in person. So my panic level had dropped since then. I'm still not out of the woods but I'm not hopeless either. I think tomorrow will work out. In some ways I feel that it's a step back, going back to direct care, but I have to move on and support myself.
I really don't want to continue to hear how awful anyone thinks Emmanuel is. I know that I wasn't treated fairly and it ended badly, but I want to move on. I want to close this chapter in my life and start a new one. Today was a very hard day and I can't keep going through it. And as long as it works out tomorrow I can move on and not let this drastically affect me.

Day 70

Sunday we celebrated the life of Zane Morris.

This picture obviously wasn't just taken, but the day was all about him.
Zane was a wonderful man I met in Penfield and he always had a smile on his face. I didn't actually know him that well, but in a way I felt like I did. My mom was really close to him and he was always so wonderful to me when I saw him. Zane was diagnosed with ALS about 2 years ago, and while we knew what the outcome was it was really just very sad. But we celebrated his life. The service, while tears were shed and some of it was sad, was really a celebration of who Zane had been and his wonderful family that was still there. I think he'll be one of those people from the various churches that I'll never forget.

Day 69

On Saturday I did A LOT of laundry.

My apartment had gotten pretty out of control and first Dad was coming to visit then Mom was going to stay the night so I really needed to get it under control. I did 7 loads of laundry. Now, that's only 2 loads of clothes. I washed all my sheets, blankets, and towels. The washers and dryers aren't very big here so I had to spread it out over several loads. But I got it done and had a wonderful time visiting with Mom and Dad.

Day 68

I got the boys some new toys recently and Brycen loves them!

The boys don't have any toys of their own so I decided to get them a few things to play with while I'm with them. Kitchen stuff is Brycen's favorite to play with at school so I thought plastic food would be a great thing for him at home. I also got them some duplo blocks but they haven't arrived yet. Such a better start to the day than yesterday! Plus it's Friday, and even though I have to work until 9 tonight I'm hoping to make it a good day!

Day 67

This is how Thursday started...

Braxton was upset and pouting on the floor Brycen was just laying on the floor because that's what he does. I felt like doing just about the same thing, but instead I dropped the boys off at school and then went and laid in my bed for about an hour. Emmanuel made me really angry so I was really glad I was only working til noon.

Day 66

How did this happen?

I woke up this morning, looked out the window and no snow. I got up and put some clothes on and by the time I got out the door 10 minutes later there was a layer of snow on my car. It has gotten increasingly worse as the day goes on. It's not so bad but it's snow! I don't like snow! I thought we could be done with it now since it's now officially Spring. Ugh, and it's supposed to be like this the rest of the week! I have a mountain of laundry to do and doing it requires going outside and snow makes this job less enjoyable than it already was.

Day 65

My sleeping beauty...

Brycen took a nice long nap today :) It was a good day because he didn't fall asleep on the way home from school so we could get in lunch before nap time and he always sleeps better when he eats first. I actually had to wake him up to go pick Braxton up from school, and those days are few and far between lately. Brycen really is my little buddy. He just keeps getting sweeter and sweeter. Braxton on the other hand, is becoming more defiant and is taking a liking to saying NO!

Day 64

Just a duck hanging out at Target. Brycen and I were on our weekly trip to Target and there were a bunch of ducks just walking around the parking lot. I got the boys a couple of toys because they don't have any. I got a container of plastic food and some hot wheels. Hopefully they'll like them and they won't be so bored at home.

Day 63

I finally went back to church today.

I haven't been since sometime in January. Between being sick and working and going out of town it's been kinda crazy. So I got myself up and out this morning on time. Since I've moved to Rochester I've been going to Asbury First United Methodist Church and I like it. It's very big and there are a lot of people, and sometimes I feel kind of lost, but I like the services and I really like the pastors.

Day 62

Saturday was Gramma's 90th birthday. Almost the whole family got together to celebrate. We got a limo bus and toured around Buffalo and Amherst seeing all the important places in Gramma's life.

Here's Gramma and her kids at the house she where she was born in 1921! She showed pointed to what window was the room she was born in and we all got out and took pictures. I'm sure people were watching us wondering what was going on. One person even let Gramma go in one of the houses she lived in when she was 5.
The day was really nice. After the bus tour we went to McPartlan's to eat then we went to Aunt Robin's for dessert and eventually dinner. Everyone seemed to have a good time and it was nice to see my family for an occasion that wasn't Christmas.

Day 61

Friday was a hard day. Braxton had a really bad day and spent much of the time I was with him yelling and screaming.

When I got out of work I decided to get some chocolate ice cream. I first saw Coldstone, so I stopped there but there was a line nearly out the door. I thought about and realized I could get a pint of Ben & Jerry's for about the same as a small cone at Coldstone. So I went over to Wegmans and I got one of my favorites, Half Baked. It's chocolate ice cream with cookie dough and brownie bits in it. It's great. Although I was not fully prepared. I didn't have any utensils in my car so I could eat in on the way home, because it was just one of those days where it can't even wait the 20 minute car ride. So I was creative and ate my ice cream without utensils and made a mess of myself in the process.

Day 60

I bought myself some pretty flowers today :)

I love having flowers in my apartment!

Day 59

I went out tonight with some friends to the Cheesecake Factory. I had a grilled turkey burger and it was really good!

It was nice to be out with friends, it's been a long couple of weeks and going out was a nice break. I was going to go out for St. Patrick's Day tomorrow but I have to work :( and I doubt I'll have energy.

Day 58

So it's March 15th, Christmas was 81 days ago...

Rochester get it together! There are Seasons Greetings and Happy Holidays signs up all down Hudson. lol
It was 57 degrees today! Spring is on it's way...I know it will probably snow again but I'm excited that it's almost Spring!

Day 57

I was thinking of home today and my Dad...

My Dad gave me this kitty a few years ago and since then it's been in my room. It just kept catching my eye today as I was in and out of my room.

Day 56

I spent the day cleaning my apartment and rearranging my room.

My room looks pretty bare in this picture. It doesn't feel that way it was just kind of hard to get a good picture of the room. But finally here is the last room in my apartment.

Day 55

I got to go to Buffalo today. It was nice to see some of my Harris Hill people and catch up and just be there.

I think it was the first time that I felt more like a visitor than like it was my church. I don't know why but it felt a little weird. I really miss the people there and it was so nice to be around people who love me. But our lives go by and we don't talk regularly and we're not a part of each others day to day lives anymore and I'm finding a little harder to just pick up where I left off.
I think it's just been a long week and I was feeling a bit off.

Day 54

Here's Braxton's picture he drew for me. I didn't really understand his story when he explained it to me because he was dancing all over the place. It was a half day at school and Braxton had lots of energy when he came home. I don't think he stopped moving or talking once all day.

Day 53

I went out tonight for cupcakes!

You get to choose what kind of cupcake you want, if you want a filling, what kind of frosting, and if you want any toppings. What I got was pretty simple. I got a chocolate cupcake with peanut butter frosting and a red velvet cupcake with cream cheese frosting. The chocolate cupcake was really good, the frosting...eh. It was a little to sweet for me. I just tasted a little bit of the red velvet and I wasn't all that impressed. But still I like the idea of a make your own cupcake bar!

Day 52

So Emmanuel got rid of his couch because it was gross...

The boys love it. There's this big open space for them to run around in now. They can run around and roll around on the floor and just be silly kids!

Day 51

I have this nice new candle...the only problem is that if it's too close to the edge of the table Happy gets his tail in it when he rubs on the table. He nearly set his tail on fire! I could smell burnt fur...I blew it out pretty quickly!

Day 50

Happy was watching TV with me on Monday night :)

Day 49

My boys...I finally get to go home tonight! YAY! Emmanuel just called and said he's in Philadelphia and he'll be home by about 11pm! They are really cute kids, and they're generally pretty good kids too. But I am so ready to go home! It has been a VERY long weekend and a lot has happened and I hope it's a while before he asks me to do it again.
On the up side I have survived my first time ever taking care of kids over night! In all my years of watching children I have never had to stay overnight with them.

Day 48

This is Braxton, he's pouting on the steps of Sesame Street at the Strong Museum of Play. It pretty much sums up my day lol. I thought it'd be a great idea to take the boys to the museum, I did have a little bit of hesitation because I didn't know how many people would be there. So we started off great. Both boys were playing and happy, then we went to another area to play...Brycen had a meltdown. I decided to let him lay on the floor and scream while Braxton happily played. I finally calmed him down by giving him a cheez-it and a drink. So we played nicely for about 15-20 minutes. Then Brycen had another meltdown. So we decided to go eat lunch. All well and good. Then we went to the bathroom. I took a little longer because I had to take care of Brycen, and when I came out Braxton was nowhere to be found! I panicked! I asked around and no one saw him, I asked someone to look in the bathroom, nothing. I'm sure it was just a couple of minutes but it felt like a really long time until I realized he had talked about wanting to go on the carousel by the entrance. I ran over there and there he was screaming at the woman running it because he wanted to go on. I got to him and hugged him and he just got mad at me for saying I didn't have money for him to go on. So another major meltdown later we finally left. I was so disappointed it went the way it did. We got home and I made them both lay down for awhile so I could cool off. The rest of the day went okay (besides Braxton jamming paper in his dad's printer and then opening it up and nearly breaking it).
I'm really glad I get to go home tonight!

Day 46

So these snow creations are really cool! They're right by Braxton's school and I love seeing what will show up next!

Day 45

Brycen is really very entertaining! He's been in a really great mood the last couple of days and since we're both feeling better we have so much fun!

Lately he loves to run down the sidewalk while we go to pick Braxton up from school.

Day 44

So there was a random quick little snow storm while I was driving around...

I left the house and there were a few flakes, I got to work and it was still fine, 15 minutes later I go outside and it was a blizzard! It was a short little flurry but it was kinda crazy!

Day 44

So we've been working on Your Baby Can Read stuff lately. I don't know if it's going to get Brycen reading, but it's definitely getting him to say more words! He likes repeating the words on the DVD!

While he still has a long way to go, I have seen a lot of improvement in Brycen's speech since we've started these. I think he just needs to be pushed a little more and he'll be talking in no time!